Here It Goes Again

People think they know me. People think that they understand me. People think that I'm a girl that doesn't seem to be plagued by any sadness or sorrow. People think that I face life happily & optimistically everyday. But you know, the fact is they don't understand nor will they ever.

I've said before, "I cherish the belief that when life, lived to inspire happiness in others, is meaningful." But, humans are selfish people even though they try to deny so hard that they ain't. The truth is everyone of us is. When we see others beating us to things, those "Well-done" might actually mean "I wish I was better than you." You know what I mean? God created us in this way, so that we are, you could say, perfectly imperfect. Nah, there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be better, really.

Inferiority. I experience that everyday. I'm not a guy's dream type of girl. I don't get top grades & I'm not the teacher's pet. I'm far from those stunning girls that people can't take their eyes off. I'm not loaded with money & neither am I popular. I'm not artistic nor am I cultured. I'm nowhere near gentle. Not even close to that. I'm not the best sports player. You see? I'm just Jenna, I'm just me :)

To admit, I long to be the type of girl that I've mentioned above. I would love to be loved. Then again, who doesn't want to be perfect? But as time passes & thinking gets more matured, I realised that that's not real happiness. Sometimes, you try so hard to be someone that you actually lose the real you. Let me emphasize. There's NOTHING wrong with being YOU. There's nothing wrong with being fat. There's nothing wrong with being a glutton. There's nothing wrong with cuddling your soft toys to sleep every night. There's nothing wrong with going to the mall with your hair tousled, with your shirts untucked & with skirts that could practically be used to sweep the floor. Hey, that's you :) & I say, that's life :)

Yes, there'll be girls better than you, obviously. There would be girls leaving you for them, for the fame, the popularity. There would be boys leaving you for them, for the "Woah, she's your girl? She's hot." But then, that's the time when reality would smack itself right into your face. 2 words. "I'm me." Really, people must learn to accept. Don't ever try to change yourself because of all these. Of course, change yourself for the better :)

Being you, being happy, hey, that's the real beauty :) You get what I'm saying? Why be so common when you could just stand out? Everyone's special. Yes, that includes the ugliest girl on Earth. & that would make people like me, love you more :) Have the courage. Because life shrinks or expand in proportion to one's courage :) Do not live for others, because no one can bring you peace but you yourself :)

If no one else loves you, remember that I would & I do. Because sometimes, I might be that girl crying in a corner for some love, some attention. This is something nobody knows.

Jenna, you gave so much advice. Please, follow them. Because you're beautiful. Oh yes, I am.

Please Do.

Hello! Okie dokie, I studied the whole morning today & man am I tired :( HAHA, Jun Xiong said that "okie dokie" sounds like I want to act cute. Pfft, I thought I am anyway :)

I don't want to go to school! I want to stay at home & mug all day & night & be sucha lifeless kiddo. KEKE, rock on :D

Okay, since I have time on my hand, I shall give you readers an insight of my life.

I think that I'm leading a rather happy life for now. You know, how can I not stay happy when there's so many wonderful friends around me (Like the people you see above), & many more whose photos I'm lazy to dig out :) They could detect whenever I'm sad & talk to me all through the night! When I'm sad, they would make me breakfast, give in to whatever I ask for & tell me that they love me! Awwww :) ♥ I may not be such a fantastic friend in return I know, but I'm trying to love others like how God have loved me! So don't be suprised if I popped you an appreciation card or make you breakfast! HEHE, the breakfast part would never happen cause I won't be able to resist it :) Thanks beloved(s)!

I'm like currently missing softball a lot :( I miss the times under the sun when I would sweat like drip-drop. I miss the times I crapped with my seniors! (Cheryl, I know you're so gona read this & all go ego again) But really, I miss all of you! I miss bullying my juniors & teasing them. I miss Hoong Hoong & all his cold & "Oh my goodness, that's so lame" jokes! I miss all my Sec 2 team mates! Oh wellz, to sum it all up, I miss softball ♥

Studies have been pretty alright I guess. I get very stressed up sometimes but dear(s) would never fail to relieve my stress! Be it crapping with me till I go high high high! Or even talking big logics to me, HMM! I really hope my efforts would pay off yeah :) Good luck readers for your exams too!

Man, I hate it when people ask me something. I reply back, "Yes?" & they say "Nvm". Look, it really puts me off you know. Yeah, someone just did that. Totally spoiled my night. But never mind, I shouldn't get angry over such stuffs, :) School tomorrow. Go...or not?

Anyway, I want to thank Yan Chuan, Elward & Leon for all their support these few days :)

Till then!

If only.

This picture so depicts my mood. Tired. Stress!

Please don't expect me to reply texts so fast when I'm studying. Please understand & don't spam my phone. Thanks.

I feel so bad for pushing back all my dates.

I'll make it up for you dears after exams.

With much love :)

Expectations

Okay, I know I've neglected my blog for like very berry merry long :(

Busy + Laziness = The worse combination ever.

My September holiday wasn't even focused on studying for the EOYs! Man am I stressed :(

Softball Carnival @ Monfort for the 2 days were aweeeeeeesome :) Though my team didn't get to play with the Monfort guys team, it was still rather productive though :) Hoped the Sec 1s had gained more experience through this event :)

& as I was playing softball, my mind drifted back to you again. It has been close to half a year since you left us. The same us that would cry whenever someone mentions about you. It might seem like we've already moved on & had already forgotten about you. But no matter how much we try to look otherwise, we have not. Not at all. How easy it is to forget someone that has been a part of their lives for the past 1-2 & a half years. How easy it is to forget someone that has been your motivation for the sport you love so much. How easy? It's not, it will never be.

Although we have Hoong Hoong, although it has already been 6 months & we're supposedly strong enough to let go, I still have to say that you were a coach that I'll never ever forget. Nobody else would buy us breakfast early in the morning when we have 7am trainings. Nobody would shower so much love & concern for their players. Nobody could ever be that grandfather in you. Nobody was so strong to hide about his health conditions from his players. No one, but you.

Coach, do not worry up there. You would always be remembered in the hearts of every Whackers player. We would never forget you as the coach that sparked our love for softball within us. We will train hard. We would not let you down. & lastly, we love you.

You know, it's really a torture to love something/someone which death could touch. It hurts.

We love you.