I'm Loving It

Went for ice-cream buffet today with all my favourite people :)

I just love them, bit by bit, little by little much!

If you make me smile while talking to you, then just carry on :)

Pictures of my lovelys would be in the next post yeah!

2010's Halloween's a blast! Late night texting with people close to my heart, taking pictures & just being myself, I simply enjoyed it :)

HAHA, someone's being real sweet & I'll get to hear 2 songs the next time, :D

I love writing letters. Hand-written ones.

Life is fantastic! I hope I'll have time to catch up with all my girl/boy friends even when I have a sardine jammed packed holiday with trainings and all :(

But...I'M LOVING IT, hahaha!

Right, I'll blog tomorrow or something!

I understand you, more than you do yourself :)

I Need Them

Hi, I'm Jenna. I love food, do you? :)

If There Was Life After Death

Hoong Hoong asked us during training today, "You girls know that training is so tough now, why did you all still stay on?"

Everyone gave an answer, except me. Not because I didn't know why, it was because I didn't want to lose myself & my emotions.

This is exactly what I send Hoong Hoong. (Not edited).

"I promised Coach that I'll never give up. He instilled the passion in me, in my love for softball. So even at times when I want to quit, I would always think of how Coach would be so proud of our team in Heaven & how I'm winning the gold medal for him & for you. That's why, I always tell myself that all these that I'm going through are worth it. Because, he was the one that never gave up, he was the one that never admitted defeat. Because, he was the one that stood tall & strong. Because, he was the one that shaped me into such a player I am today. And because he did all those, I will too. So I didn't give up, I don't plan to, & I will never. The reason to your question is simple. Michael Chiam is my Coach, he will always be the best one & I love him."

Life As We Know It.

David once asked me, "What's your definition of life?"

" Life to me, is about finding another half of us. It's to be lived to the fullest, with tears but with no regrets. It's about the sorrows that comes with the experiences. It's about the fruitful search for happiness & finding the ultimate one that could give us that. Life is about learning to love & to be loved in return. It's all about the beliefs & faith that we hold on dearly to, & it's all about the things that we live for to see when the next morning comes. Lastly, life is a journey, a complicated process, when the end product is about discovering the best in each & every one of us. All of us."

& that, was my reply :)

Physically Worn Out

Hey Readers!

Some pictures for you since it has been sucha long time since I've blogged like this :)

This few days were rather predictable - School, followed by training, reaching home @ 8, & collapsing on the bed at latest, 9 :)

I think I look better man! With these early nights every day, (Blush)

Training is getting tougher by the day. Like it or not, we've no choice. It all boils down to our perseverance. It's all about the mind, not the body. It's all about the glory, not the pain. Okie, I'm getting way too serious now, stop :)

To all my dearest softballers:

I know that training is getting tougher & everytime, some of you might dread coming for trainings whenever you think of the physical trainings (5 sets, 20 rounds) etc. You feel that skipping softball is the best choice, so that you don't have to suffer the week ahead with bruises, aches, and "immobility". But I just want to say, that so far, all of you are doing fine. And juniors, I can't say of how proud I am of you guys. Those determination to carry on even though you've reached your limit, I'm all praise for you :) Keep up the good work & have a good rest everyday!

Got back my results today , :)

8 As (English, Maths, Science, History, Geography, Literature, Home Economics, Dnt), 1 B (Higher Mother Tongue) & 1 C (ART) :(((

I don't like Art, :( Make my report book so ugly.

Oh! & Mrs Tan, "She play too much, too much, just too much!"

-Panics-

"Of softball"

I gave the, "Mrs Tan, can I shoot you?" face, hahaha :)

I sometimes doubt myself. I don't know if I can give good advices & if they really help. It's not that I don't want to reply to those SOS texts, it's just that I need time to think through all the possible options. I admit, I get tired occasionally. Because, I'm always there, but who is for me? :)

Paranoid

Sorry to the reader that requested for that blog post. I was too caught up doing/finishing some of my stuffs that I totally neglected this blog of mine, apologies? :)

Are you a + or - person?

Well, since I put + first, I must say that I'm a rather positive person. I'm the type of person that tend to see a cup as half filled rather than half empty. I panic in tough situations, but I don't give in & complain, because I believe that by whining & lamenting, things aren't going to be better. So instead, I count on myself, I seek help from others, & hold on to the faith that things would look better eventually.

I have this belief that one would be happier and be able to live life to the fullest if he/she learnt to take life easy & optimistically. What's the point of crying over something that you could never have? On the other hand, why not take that time to strive & work hard towards the thing that you want;the thing that you seek for, so that one day, it'll be yours. Time is precious. Our life would definitely not be well-lived if all that we'll capable of is cursing at people who we think it's the cause of our downfall;Scolding parents for giving birth to us;Swearing to God, & asking him why were we ever created.

Isn't that pointless? But you may argue with me, saying that life's never smooth-sailing, & sometimes, I agree. It's hard to always look on the brighter side of things. & I sometimes, fail myself.

I have expectations. High ones in fact. & at times, when I fail to meet them, it's as though the world came crashing down at my feet. It's like all my efforts were drained down the drain, into the big sea, where I know, are wasted. & just so you know, these are times when my blanket never fails to get damped, when I wake up the next morning with swollen eyes, when I feel that life's a dread. But! I get over these.

I realised that some expectations were meant to get met, & some just aren't meant to be. I can't expect the same of everyone. I must accept the fact that everyone's different, in their very ways. I can't expect them to enjoy talking to me as much as I do. I can't expect them to love their CCA as much as I do. I can't expect teachers to mark my test papers as leniently as I wish they would. I can't expect people to care so much for me, just because I do. I can't expect everyone to have the same style of loving as I have. If everyone was the same, where's the interesting part of life? So, for this, I must confess. Sorry, I'm not a 24/7 smiling girl. But I've learnt a few lessons in the midst of these. However, that's side-tracking already, haha.

Being overly optimistic isn't very ideal actually. Sometimes, we must have a little tinge on\f sadness & misery in our lives, in order to make us understand the meaning of hardship, perseverance, and the importance of cherishing all those around us :)

But all in all, I must say, that I'm more of the positive person, than a negative one.

& to all of you, I hope you are too. Because remember, life is unpredictable, we don't have any second-chances, so just smile, laugh, love.

Messenger

To the "Reader" that tagged on my tagboard regarding your request, I'll blog about it tomorrow or the day after :) Thanks!

Haha, I just realised that I'm blogging ever so often nowadays! Oh well, I guess it's just a space for me to "vocalise" myself. No? :)

I miss softball so much, so much till I'm getting a little emotional over it, (though we still owe Hoong Honng 20 rounds around the school)

There's so many things that I want to do during the holidays!

Train very hard for softball!
Go Sentosa with my brother(s) to play
:)
Night Safari with M & YW!
Sleepover @ M's!
Go on a food spree
with people.
Do a DIY something.
Study & read at least 3 books!
Go
on a cammy spree :)

I'm currently reading "House Rules" by Jodi Picoult, & it's highly
recommanded! I'm a person that likes sad stories, ones that talk about life.
The ones that depict life like it should be - Unexpected. That's prolly one
of the main reasons why I love Jodi Picoult's books! So enriching :)

Maybe that's why I love blogging about life so much, rather than blogging about my life, hoho, maybe...

I've read almost all of her books & they are fantastic. She's a brillant writer to me! & no, she didn't pay me to advertise her & her books okay :)

But if you're the type that likes happy endings, & pages that keep you smiling all day long, then her books' ain't suitable for you. Hehe, unless you're a sadist, like me :)

Oh, have I mentioned that I love people who smile?

Please please please please please please help me out of this tomorrow deary :(

Scared

I think this world's a very competitive place. Everyone's trying to be at the top, at the top of the pack, that they never stop to look behind & see if anyone else needs a helping hand. They just continue running & running, all by themselves.

The brainys won't let you have their notes. The smart won't share studying tips with you. The sports ones don't agree on going for extra trainings with you. The rich won't lend a little. The ones who are loved never gives.

That's the world that we live in today - Selfish, ignorant, insensitive, cold, merciless.

But living in this Earth would make us one of those people too.

Saying is easy, but to actually make a change, that's hard.

Slow life down, I'm not catching up fast enough.

Like Finally

I'm too tired today to blog about a specific topic. & readers, if you guys have any suggestions on the various topics that you would like me to blog about, do tag on my tagboard, all requests (If there's any), would be entertained :)

Exam's over, like finally! I think EOY was okay, rather manageable. I really hope my efforts would pay off, & then I'll most probably be the happiest girl on Earth :) However, Mr Quek & Mdm Chua said that a lot of students failed History & Literature respectively, & I hope it's not me. I pray with my fingers cross :)

Although exam is over, I feel rather empty inside. It's like when there was exams & stress & whatever not, I felt more motivated. I have a goal, & when I get home, I have something to work towards to. Now, my routine is so sickening, not productive at all :(

Today, as seen in the pictures, I went to Sentosa to celebrate my dear Sabita's birthday :) As usual, I had lots of fun with my favourite girls yeahhh :) I'm rather lazy to eleborate on what we did, & nor do I want to bore you readers with something that doesn't relate to you :)

I'm gona cuddle in my quilt soon & "indulge" myself in a good book which I just purchased this evening :)

Call me lifeless. Call me idiotic. Call me a nerd. I love reading, so there :)

Hey dumb, don't be so negative! I agree that results are important, I agree that sometimes, messing up exams may be irritating, demoralizing. But! There's always a next year, there's always another EOY, right :) I'm not used to the you now. A text without a smiley means something's terribly wrong with you! Next year's the most important year for you. Take any chance, seize every opportunity to do well, to prove yourself to everyone :) Byebye :)

To _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _,

Don't ever think of death. You have worth in this world. You'll never know who appreciates you, & who you've touched deeply. Everyone needs love, & you are loved. Death's probably, or I should say, IS the worst choice ever. Don't you feel tired being like that everyday? Don't you want happiness? Don't you? Then strive for that, you'll get what you deserve :)

Cheer up everyone! I sound like Aunt Agony, but I don't mind :) I love making people happy! It makes me too :)

Know that everyone of us is special, in our own tiny weeny ways :)

Part Of Growing Up

Growing up is part of maturing;Growing up is about the experience;Growing up is about the lessons that they could teach you;Growing up makes you realise that perhaps, life isn't that beautiful after all.

When you're young, being rejected means not being fast enough to join the game of catch. Now, being rejected means going home crying yourself to sleep every night, & wondering if tomorrow would ever be any better. It used to be crying over broken barbie dolls & headless soldiers, now it's all about crying over the ones that hurt us, the ones that betrayed, the ones that didn't cherish.

It was so easy to say "I love you" then, because all you had to do was to sing along Barney's theme song. These 3 words are now, probably the hardest words to comprehend in the dictionary.

Fairytales used to be in all of us. We used to believe that Fairy Godmother exists & we all aspired to be Cinderella. As for now, fairytales are nothing but a book on the shelf & forever means nothing more than broken promises.

Sweets used to work. Now even hugs & kisses don't. Quarrels with parents meant not getting the dinner you wanted. Now it means leaving the house & never coming back.

When we were young, all of us had second chances. When we didn't like our moves, we rewind & we're always forgiven. Don't even think about second chances now. Nobody waits for you to amend your wrong. Nobody bothers to correct you. Nobody.

Going to school was a joy. With classmates talking about last night's cartoon, with teachers praising us for the slightest thing we do, & with buses & cars waiting for us right up to the main gate. School is a chore now. It's probably a situation where we feel like drowning, even when there's no water. People we love dearly suddenly turns around, stabbing us in the back, & there we are, helpless. Teachers don't understand, & parents don't ask anymore.

We used to be so excited over every little thing. We fantasied about unicorns & princesses. Now, we couldn't even be bothered to play the playground, sit the swing, sing the songs, climb the trees.

Then, we couldn't be more than happy having a drumstick for dinner. Right, like that's even enough now. We want money, we want fame, we want popularity, we want attention, we want love. Nothing's ever enough. The world today had shaped us into people that we couldn't even recognise ourselves.

Goodbyes used to last for only a day. Who knew that now, goodbyes signal the loss of another hello.

& to think, we all wanted to grow up.

True Love

As all of you would have known by now, the Mother of Singapore, Mdm Kua Geok Choo passed away, leaving her husband, MM Lee Kuan Yew devastated. I was spending my Sunday morning reading through past days' newspaper-Articles that talked fondly of Mdm Kua;Articles that spoke of her love;Articles that proved her to be as wonderful as she was.

At first, her passing meant little to me. Partly because she was no significant figure to me, & partly before I did not know her personally, to actually break down in tears when the news came. But later however, my heart felt a little heavy & it gradually turned so heavy, that I did tear, well, a little.

Flipping through the newspaper, I read every single article on her. "She was a loving wife, mother & grandmother". That was often said of her. How easy it is to be the wife of a political figure, how easy it is to raise 3 children to be who they are today, 1 a Prime Minister, 1 a successful brain surgeon & 1 a well off businessman.

Mdm Kua truly touched me, be it through her selfless love for all those around her, or how she still loved reading at her age, or even how she quietly contributed to Singapore.

MM Lee had said before, "Her life was well-lived". I really agree on that. Mdm Kua was a significant figure, to all those that were acquainted with her.

When her husband & her children & 2 of her grandchildren gave their eulogy at her wake, I was touched. It was like I look up to Mdm Kua as my role model, someone whom I wish I'll grow up to be.

She was humble, she was never proud, she never differentiated herself as someone of a higher social status. She taught her children to treat everyone equally & that they were not to be rude or impolite to anyone, including their maids. Her children did not play with expensive toys. Her children did not go to the best kindergarden. She was the type of mother that all children would wish for. She is Mdm Kua.

Her love. Her contributions. Her understanding. Her patience. Her worthiness. They will definitely be passed on form generations to generations.

She was once someone whom I took little notice on. Now, she is someone whom I greatly admire.

Blessed Is Your Name

I do not know where to start. I just want to say that I love my bbf so much :') I was facing some rough patches this month & the last & those that know me personally would know why. I'm not going to reveal it here, but I just want to thank my bbf for everything that he has done for me this whole while.

A guy best friend is definitely different from a boyfriend. I'm not saying that boyfriends in this world is useless, but just that, the love each one gives, is different. Entirely different. There are some things that you tell your boyfriend about, & some things that you just don't. For a guy best friend, you pour out everything to him, :)

He is always mistaken as my boyfriend, (not that I have one though). Whenever people see me, they will ask me where is he. Whenever I say that I'll be heading out for study sessions, they'll always ask if he was going too. You know what I mean? There's just this connection between me & him, unexplainable.

You can say that we'll together, but not in the couple boyfriend-girlfriend way.

He knows things that nobody else knows. He listens to me like nobody else does. He motivates me in ways that I think he don't even realise. He's just like the guy at the finish line-Someone who never fails to tell me to press on.

When I was sick, I got texts asking me to "get well soon". I got a friend who gave me my homework all the way from his house. But what I got from him, was his help to help me buy porridge, which I flatly declined though.

Nobody would suddenly tell me that I mean a lot to him/her, but he did. Just a simple text form him, telling me how much I meant to him, made me feel like the most blessed girl on Earth.

When my Coach passed away earlier this year, I was unable to sleep at night. He assured me that he'll be there for me, even if it means giving up his sleep. It wasn't just words & no actions on his part. It was already close to midnight, (Not very late for you "owl" people, but it is to me), & he was still up talking to me, even though there was school the next day. He said that that was nothing at all, but to me, it was probably everything.

We had our fun times too. Be it teasing him about girls, or debating over nonsensical issues like whether fishballs or meatballs are better, I treasured every moment. I've had too many people entering & leaving my life, to know that I had better cherish those around me.

As a guy better in his studies, he would always try to help me, though he puts me off by talking in Chinese! HAHA! Although he may not be able to help me in every aspects, I still appreciate his help, because explaining to me is really an onerous task, hehe.

There's many more personal stuffs that he had done for me & I guess that's just for me to keep in my heart :)

He makes me happy. I thank God for him.

You. You might be reading this, & just want to say "Thank You", though I guess you've heard enough of it :)

The times we shared.

In The End

What happened in the end, I rather not know. Your time is up. Your part in my life had already been played. Thank you :)

Appearance VS Reality.

Literature makes me understand such things, :)

My hands are shaking. I'm sweating. I need a hug. I've no appetite. I've lost all faith.

Dear October, please be nice.