What If Today Was Your Last Day.

What if today was your last day, what would you do?

Would you sit at a corner & cry? Rejoice because you've had enough of the world? Laugh because that's the only remedy? Just what exactly would you guys do?

Whatever you do, just make sure that there's no room for regret. Life is too short to regret, but never to short to learn from your mistakes.

People will disappoint you. You will disappoint others. You disappoint yourself even. But do you think the hurt will go away if you hate that person? How will we ever learn to love others if we don't love ourselves? You'll just find that the time & effort needed to love is just redundant.

No one said that you're guranteed to recieve something when you love. No one said that there'll be returns by the end of the day. No one said that everyone would appreciate. But when you love, no one can feel the warmth of it, but yourselves :)

It's great to feel loved. But in order to fully understand it, you've to give it to someone too. So what if he/she doesn't appreciate? So what? You loved, and you will be in return :)

Love is like a counter-attack game. You recieve as much as you give, or sometimes even more :)

It's theory proven my dears :)

Learn to love, only then will you learn to serve :)

Thank you to whoever that love/loved me. I love you all & I always will :)

Thank you God.

There's No Tomorrow.

Sometimes, no matter how hard you've tried, it's just not enough.

Hello, I'm back to post here :) Was away @ Bintan from the 19th to the 22th, had an awesome, fabulous, & fantastic time there!

I was really looking forward to this camp as soon as I saw my grouping - All the lovely ones! & it turned out that I wasn't being excited for nothing! No one could compare to the Charlians - us :)

We played together, ate together, slept together, basically, did everything together :) I could sincerely say that this was my best school camp ever!

We visited an orphanage & a local school. Looking at the few amenities they have there, I thought of what we have here, that have always been taken for granted. The little things that we do not even give a second thought to. If you think that water, electricity & food is easy to get, then think again. Because for the people there, these are the things that they hope to have, but they don't.

We live too a comfortable life, it's time we not be so ignorant anymore. It's time.

Qianhui was my best camp buddy! We sat together on the bus, leaned on each other's shoulders to sleep, laughed hysterically at everything, & "insulted" group mates like no tomorrow, hehe :) Girl, thank you for giving me such an enjoyable time over at Bintan, I love you! :)

All in all, I miss being in Bintan, I miss The Charlians & the fun we had together :(

It's funny how playing a sport you love so much could make you cry.

I know how the softballers feel. I know you all are thinking "We went all out, we pushed ourselves, but what did we get?" Sometimes, I ask myself that too. I want the answer, can anyone tell me?

Coach, I miss you patting our head as an encouragement whenever we miss a ball. Because, we don't get that now.

Had friendly matches @ Fajar yesterday. I'm just gona sit & reflect.

There's still room for improvement. I hate the emo-ish feeling I feel everytime after Softball, oh wellz. There's still happy stuffs! It's been so long since we've all been on the field playing as a team together - The Sec 2s :) It feels great, everyone trusts each other to catch the ball/cover bases etc etc :) Awesome! :)

From left to right, Stephen's, Jenna's, Joshua's. Hehe, I know mine's pathetic :(

The end :)

Do You Realize

Do you realize that sometimes what you say aren't making things better for me?

People are congratulating me, people are wishing me all the best. But sometimes, they just fail to realize that this is not the way that I want things to become. I'm totally stressed out over my class next year. Yes, I know that I brought this all upon myself. I wanted 8 subjects. Yes, I wanted that badly. But when I think of the competition, I get freaked out.

Come on, even a dumb can tell that in that class, there's so many people that are way smarter than me. My results may be comforting to some, but it's totally peanut compared to all my to-be classmates. Gosh :(

Maybe I have to work harder. It's time to stop fooling around. It's time to stop chilling out after school for no occasion. Softball or studies? Which comes first?

Try to balance both? I'm only human, I know I can't.

But I'll try. It just sucks when both are just as important.

Thank you to whoever that comforted me. You know I love you all

I really appreciate all around me, those that never fail to ring me up whenever I need a listening ear. Thank you, you don't know how you actually made my day so beautiful.

Oh, there we go on our cold war again. The wheels on the bus indeed go round and round.

Will You Recall

I don't like the rain. It dampen my mood. Okay, I know you'll say that that's so childish, but it's really not. I'm serious. I dislike the rain, I abhor it, I detest it.

Recently, I had many thoughts that assailed my mind. Thoughts that made me smile, thoughts that made me look back, thoughts that made me think, thoughts that made me choke on my tears, thoughts that made me who I am.

What if someone better came his way?

Am I too clingy? Am I too dependent? Am I too weak to stand on my own 2 feet? Why is it that whenever I've a problem, my mind would always ask me to leave it to you. I'm like a burden to you, am I?

The most beautiful line would be "But, I love you." The most painful line would be "I love you, but..." You see the difference?

I'm not lovesick okay, this has nothing to do with BGR, haha.

I love people who understand my silence. Only then would they understand my words.

Remember, even when you're 60, we'll still go to the Eiffel Tower together :)

Because you said so & because I believe :)

Thank you for yesterday :) -Hug hug hug-

Meaningless

Okay, this is gona be a very MEANINGLESS post! Because apparently, I went on MSN, & said this "I'm going to blog." & I've people like Natladda.P, Joshua.L & Wilson.W who wanted me to blog about how much I love them & how cool are they.

Save me :(

But nonetheless, I shall do it.

Natladda.P,
You're really awesome & I love you so much! Just like how a fat kid loves cake, just like how Patrick loves Spongebob :) So, you get my point? Hehe, at least mine has a few sentences, not like your's! Only capable of cheating my feelings, thanks.

Joshua.L,
Eh Boss, you wanted to know how cool you are right? This is how cool you are. -Stretches arm- :) You're cool because we always get high together for no good reason! & I'm praising you before you back out about taking photos around Singapore with me :( So, you're cool, so cool, so cool. I'm like living in denial.

Wilson.W,
Hey Wang's Cafe! Yes yes, I know you're awesome, and I'm sure everyone knows that too, heh. Don't forget that you owe me 3 meals! Before honour your words or you'll be dead, slowly & surely. You ought to be more humble though, hahahaha, but it's okay, I am like that too. Ah, what nonsense! Kk, ciaosssss!

I Suddenly Miss You

Hey Readers, I know that I've not been blogging so often as before :(

But I've got peektures! Though I've been procrastinating uploading them, pft.

I love Merissa Boh & Ng Yu Wen!

Trainings are practically everyday, and I've no extra time to meet up with people or do things I want :(

But it's okay. I am a happy girl. I always try to please everyone. I hate having enemies & I wish to be everybody's friend. That's me :)

Oh my, I'm having a poke war on Facebook, hehe, awesome :)

I promised to bring Bbf around Singapore one day, I wonder when will I have the chance to...

I can't help but smile at the mention of your name, you're just so sweet, to me :)

To my dearest blood brother:

All the best for your A level! Stop stressing yourself out, haha! Although I hate it when you've an important exam because you'll keep bugging me to buy food for you, but still..All the best!

Short post because Brother wants the lappy!

Seeya!

When You're Not Here

All my favourite people ♥

I just realised that Wilson Wang gave me a topic to blog about the other time, but the topic is super difficult! It requires so much thinking :( But nevertheless, I shall give it a go, some day, not today :)

It's like we were so close. Then suddenly, I didn't know what happened. We always have cold wars;but then suddenly, we talk to each other all through the night. My heart, it's constantly being lifted up & then dropped down, by you. Yes, it's all by you.

Have you guys ever had this feeling before? You always have this tinge of jealousy in you. It doesn't matter if you're jealous about that person's looks or fame or fortune. You are, in a very simple way, just jealous of her. I have this feeling. & it's eating me up bit by bit. Unbearable.

Anyway, I want to go & print out all the photos that are taking up the memory space in Cammy! I want to do scrapbooking. I want to get all sentimental. I want to be appreciative of others. I want to go for trainings for 6 hours straight, get all tired, go to sleep & not think about any other things. I want to eat, lots & lots of food & see who will still love me when I get fat boom boom :) I want to spend time with you, just going crazy together :)

Because the bottom line is : I'll be happy.

You could say so. Maybe I'm selfish. Not because I'm born this way, but because you made me so. I don't want to share you with anybody else. The thought of you talking/hanging out with other people bothers me. Maybe I'm possessive. But maybe it's because I have learnt to cherish all those around me & I always have this unexplainable fear in me, that one day, everyone would just leave me & move on themselves. Just like when I'm eating with my friends, I would always ask them to order their food first. Because, I'm paranoid. I don't want to order mine first to see them suddenly leave. And there I am, all alone. You know how I feel? I guess you don't. But it's okay. Once you've experienced friends leaving you for others, you'll understand me better. I hope so, well, at least :)

My my, I got to wake up so early tomorrow for Slow Pitch softball :( Lazy yet excited at the same time! Would be meeting Izrafel @ 5.45 at Tanah, drop off at Aljunied, meet the rest of the boys @ 6 & leave for Clementi! Horrray :)

Sometimes, you might say that I don't love enough. But actually, secretly, deep down inside me, I do, a lot. It's just a matter of whether I choose to show/express it or not. I guard my heart, very tightly. I used to trust people too easily & that's why I've decided to stop doing that. It's simple. My heart simply can't take the pain that comes with it anymore. So, I don't open much to people. Maybe except you. Maybe that's why you're special. Maybe that's why you have access to my heart. But let me get this straight. I am not someone that you could simply take for granted for. It's stupid for me to say that, haha, cause I know you won't :) Prove me right.

Sorry for the very random paragraphs. It could be rather emotional to you guys? I don't know :) It's not to me, just words that I've always wanted to say, just opinions that I've always wanted to voice out :) I realised I like to use repetitive words! It has a bigger impact on the reader & the emotions I guess :) Tee hee, till then ~

I'm happy because I've learnt to look beyond the imperfections :)